Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize