Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
