Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
