Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
