My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
