The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
