how can u be prego again
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
