; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I faked an abortion last night.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize