i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
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