If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm just crazy horny about you
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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