So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
my liver is dry heaving
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
