ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
