Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
