next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
