well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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