you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
