You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
