If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
