Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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