oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
