if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize