You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
