Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
