Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
so let's talk penis.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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