Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
