Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Four minutes until I can fart!
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
