I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
