okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
