I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
