I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
