no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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