So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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