didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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