will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
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