All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
