He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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