Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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