Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
