Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize