We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
My underwear smells like fireworks.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
