Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
