Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
