Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
