that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Randomize
