nut hugger
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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