That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
