dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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