Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
