oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
