I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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