OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
