I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
