i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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