Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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