i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
