oh god the rape fog is back!
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
