I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize