I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
