He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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