my vag is so smooth its legendary
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
