So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
