have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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