two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
