Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
