Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
