I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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