Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize